In the morning of my sixth day in Jatinangor, I felt the loneliness are attacking me once more. All the sudden make me wanted to go home. Is this Homesick felling or what? But, I still remain here to finish my study and I realize sometimes we had to go alone with nobody around us. I hope someday I can meet all my friends again, not only in the monitor of computer!
This “Black” felling is haunted me like a thousand star falling from the sky. But, I must strengthen my Blacksmith armor due to achieve my own goal. Seems that only me in this world and nobody around. Loneliness is really a sick felling then I take my medicine to reduce this kind of felling. Anxiety is not a very big problem, it can be lost sometimes and happens so suddenly.
All you have to do is survive with your own way to survival. I miss everybody, especially my father because he died in front of me in the Cikini Hospital because a disease called kidney failure. From that moment, my live seems so empty coz, nobody can protect me. Then, I make a very first mistake with trying to smoke. Now, I am a smoker.
If only that I can turn back time, I would be a better man than yesterday. But, this is fact is must accept and I must survive with any means of fate. Maybe this is my fate. I hope someday I would find someone that can fell my heart with joyness and cheerfull felling that spread through this undefined world.
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